Greetings all!!
Did yewz miss me?
This idea (along with probably a lot more in Mondays to come) was listed in an awesome website called dudeiwantthat.com.
I ain’t much of a gamer but I might be if I got my greasy little mitts on one of these. It functions as a bloody controller for yr Nintendo console but has a glass cover to put on top for when you just want to park yr feet and kick back.
Short n sweet but back with a midweek rant, or thereabouts
preach
Cannabis (smell) Killer candle
Now this is more of a service announcement than a recommendation as I don’t condone this sort of behavior and do not want to be guilty by association. In the ManCave, naturally you want to relax in whichever way you see fit and for those of whom inclined to REALLY relax, this could be the difference between a chill night or being shoved on the ground with your hands cuffed to your head after the local S.W.A.T. team bashed your customised door down with one of those big metal pole thingies. It claims to magically erase the incriminating smell that comes with this particular activity.
cough
Joe Terwilliger is a busy man. Apart from being one of the worlds most respected Geneticists, he is a part time muso on the Broadway circuit and oh……, he was also Dennis Rodmans translator for Roddo’s visit of diplomacy and recreation a cuppla years back in North Korea. It only occurred to me after I had spoken to Joe to inquire as to the truth in the stories of Kim Jun Un’s fabled Cognac collection.
That’s formalities out of the way, now let’s get stuck into the cognac
There is an upcoming documentary based on this most auspicious of trips and as you can see from the trailer below, Joe is trying his hand at karaoke and showing the North Koreans how the west rolls. Variety magazine gave a great review where they praised the comedic relief supplied by Joe in what must’ve been a slightly bizarre trip. They even said that should this particular trip be ever made into a film then Seth Rogen is the dude to play Joe, Cool!
He divides his time between his hometown of New York and his second home of Helsinki with the remainder being spent gallivanting around the rest of the world. It was in Helsinki that he discovered the genetic link between Finns and lactose intolerance which we all know is rampant in this country. What’s a couple of farts here and there?
Joe sharing a beer
Here is a better look at his T shirt
With all this moving about, it’s not enough to simply have a cave”, you have to convert your whole space into that of manliness and that is what Joe has done with both of his abodes. All he needs is a ManCave in North Korea and then he’s all good. Here in Helsinki, aside from having a very comfy living space, he has decked out one of his smaller rooms as a soundproofed room to practise his Tuba licks, ready to kick some Broadway butt.
The main living space has one of the most ass meltingly comfy sofas your author has ever sat in, naturally for me as a man, it’s a given that comfort should come first. Joe pointed out that at his ManCave parties, the women that attend have had a revelation about comfort over design and they saw the light. When you are so comfortable, it matters not whether there is horrendously overpriced design items sprinkled about.
Artisan Lumberjack style
I asked Joe why he thought Mancaves are so important to men. “Men need space to be men, we need space to do manly things and it doesn’t matter if it’s stylish or not”
Joe has carefully placed his sofa within arms reach of this treasure box
What about how he would improve his space. ” Here in Helsinki, the noise regulations are too strict so it would be great to have total soundproofing to make as much noise as possible.” He ain’t wrong about that. This is a city that pouring a frickin glass of water warrants a noise complaint.
There is a church under that rock and that rock is where Joes parties spill out onto when the 10.00pm noise curfew kicks in. Thanks God
And, of course what would be his ULTIMATE ManCave? ” i just want a massive space to make a whole lot of noise and be a savage because under all of it, men are savages.” And coming from a revered geneticist, I’m inclined to believe him. Ooga booga. He added ” ManCaves are all about getting away from rules and society and being truly who you are.” WORD!!
We concluded our chat with talk about the state of the scientific world. I was a bit taken aback at his statement that all scientific “discoveries” are built up to be more than they are. This being so in order for the scientific community to be a step ahead of Joe Public and to continue securing funding for their projects. This put a rather large crack in my rose tinted Star trek glasses but i don’t care. I ain’t dying anywhere until I have had my flying car, capable of vertical liftoff.
Oculus Rift Virtual Reality headset
I can’t wait to get my mitts on one of these suckers. In some ways it would negate the need for a ManCave but of course if you view the bigger picture then it would be just another cool item to have in ones relaxation arsonal.
I remember back in the yonder years when the VR term was being excitedly bandied about and the headsets themselves looked like the front of a car strapped to your head, the tech wasn’t quite there but the proof of concept was. In the last couple of years the the Oculus Rift PR machine has been gathering speed and it looks like the tech has caught up to the concept. It hasn’t even been released just yet but there are already companies cranking out movies and games in anticipation of its release.
He’s watching porn. I don’t know what you’re talking about
In my 10 second research into pics to include in this piece, I found some interesting examples of what could be in the near future where inside the goggles is more appealing than outside. Observe
Or even slightly worse..
Could be the new heroin. at least the other dude parked his ass on a mattress
There are other companies who are putting their fingers in the VR pie such as Samsung with their VR Gear headset which will be compatible with Galaxy phones such as the S6 and not my S3 which is starting to give me the shits, that needs working on.
Hopefully someone would commision David Lynch to do a full on balls to the wall horror film to experienced on one of these VR sets and then we’re in business.
When I called Jyväskylä resident Aki to have a chat about his ManCave, he was in the process of paying for his beers at the local bar. Whilst I let him put the phone down to handle the transaction I thought to myself, “Why isn’t he in his bloody ManCave?!” but I guess when you are fortunate to own your own space, it is healthy to get out and see other places….I think…..
That door there, note that the ManCave has it’s own access road
Aki lives with his wife and young twin daughters in a free standing house in the middle of Finland where the price of getting your own actual house as opposed to an apartment is not so piss-takingly horrendously priced as it is here in Hellstinky. Then, of course, the potential for there being a convertable space for manly living is much higher. He teaches at a local school in predominantly Music but also in Philosophy and History but he was previously a songwriter for a number of well known acts in Finland and he made a semi-tidy living off of that, but with the arrival of his daughters (sweethearts that they no doubt are) his songwriting output was vastly reduced. He had previously written songs for, among others, Mikko Siltala and a band called Yö, which if you are wondering how that is pronounced in Finnish then it’s the very last vocalisation that you make just before you would have to hurl your guts up, I shit you not.
After a couple of commando roles, you’re inside
The T.V. is placed just off to the side. Special armchair for collapsing onto after a brisk run
About the time that the kids came, Aki noticed that the garage was very chilly in Winter and set about fixing the sliding doors in order to keep it warm, thus came the idea for his ManCave and its quite a conversion considering it was a garage. Very cosy looking, and when you are cosy, you are relaxed and when you are a man and you are cosy and relaxed then you have not a care in the world.
In order to make the idea of having the space all to himself and no one else is allowed except for mates to play games and watch the footy, Aki graciously offered part of the former garage as storage space to keep his wife sweet.
Aki had previously considered (in his philosophical role) the question of why it’s so important to men to have their own ManCave (even to those of whom are not lucky enough to have one, it’s instinctual). ” When women need to charge their batteries, they want company and to share things with friends and to shop and so forth. When men need to recharge, they need to be alone and do things they love, like playing video games, watching T.V. or playing music etc etc.” preaching to the converted mate!!
Another royalty cheque just arrived
He said that on rare occasions he does have guys over for “gentlemans clubs” to shoot the shit and hang out but also he said that on the odd occasion that he and his wife have guests, he quickly whisks the male guest to the ManCave to truly relax and enjoy his stay.
As to what Aki would do to improve his space, ” I think mainly more room to be able to fit more instruments as I do plan to get into the songwriting and playing a lot more when the girls grow up”. I then asked him what his ULTIMATE ManCave would be . “I have been pondering this since I was 15 years old and I think I would love a big dimly lit room covered with dark blue velvet and with a big black grand piano in the middle which I could play with a whiskey sitting in front of me. This would be surrounded by a bar, sofa and a selection of instruments”. All very Lynchian Blue Velvet, Twin Peaksy kind of vibe and that is no bad thing.
Today i was given a tip on what might be the mother of all ManCaves until i see something else to convince me of otherwise. My good friend Giacomo alerted me to the story of a man in Utah, U.S of A who has transformed the basement of his house that he shares with his wife and daughter. DC comics artist Tyler Kirkham spent $50,000 on the whole shebang and $20,000 of that went into the home cinema system alone!!
Dude…please, you’re killing me
He has modeled it on various settings of the Elder Scrolls Online game, not that I care about that, it still looks delicious.
Apart from the home cinema system, it has a bathroom with its own waterfall, a whole bunch of fantasy themed swords and other related items and….a secret passage that is opened by a book from the bookshelf and excuse me while I pick my frickin heart off the floor.
Not only this but his wife actually was proactive in the design and you tell me where in the picture I could find any estrogenically influenced design. She’s a keeper.
As you can see, he lives in a very sizeable house so there are plenty of options for caveifying but he got the basement and owned the hell out of it. Of course in other places elsewhere in the world there might not be such plentiful room to convert a space but this is what I am about on this blog. I want to empower men worldwide that if they have an available space, then bloody use it!! And if there are ladies reading this blog then help me to empower your man to take charge of the spare space. He’ll pick the kids up later, it ain’t that cold.
Who could tell such loveliness lies beneath?
below is a more detailed look into this fantastic story
There was a time when i was part-user of a space in Alpilla, Helsinki with a few other crazy Finnish guys. It was a converted cellar in the bottom of a apartment building (a semi common thing in this city) that Jussi, Henri and Teemu had decked out with their stuff (ie samplers, keyboards and a selection of 4 string and 6 string axes) and who had graciously allowed me to pay into it for my own purposes on alternating schedules. It was an awesome space, much like I would like any of my possible future ManCaves to look like, quite dank looking, very low lighting apart from some festive lights sprinkled about and a broken lava lamp which had its own curious attraction. It was very cosy, especially in the winter which for cellar habitation could be a big issue, not conducive to making music and hanging out.
A mix of design AND functionality
There were alas, some negatives to this as there was no running water . Not such a biggie when the local Lidl was only up the road and I was getting my studio beers anyways but the bigger issue was that ther was no toilet anywhere near in sight so there was some careful planning needed. When the need arose, there was a tree outside just around the corner from the building that copped it from more than just studio dwellers by the smell of it. That wasn’t a problem but if there were, ahem ,slightly heavier matters to attend to and your doodoo wasn’t of the Teflon variety then you could be in a spot of bother. I, thankfully never had to address this problem. Can’t vouch for the others tho..
There’s that design/functionality again I mentioned earlier
An oldie but a goody
Alas the dream ended (like they so often do) and the Kriton Bangers (as the other guys named themselves) and me were evicted . I suspect there was neighborly manipulation of the situation though as there started to be sightings of a strange figure standing outside the window (which was mostly covered by some black plastic)which we believed to be a nearby resident trying to gather evidence of dodgy goings on in the studio. Another problem was that any sound from the studio carried rather easily and when you are jamming it and it’s hot, then you can get a bit excited accidentally blare out some sub frequency bass which spews out for all to hear.
My old baby. Looks super cool but was a bitch to play
Sessions could get a tad tribal sometimes
The Kriton boyz with their bangin toonz and me with my druggy, black, velvety noise were never fully able to recover from the loss of Kriton Lounge and we still wander the streets these days in search of recovery.
“The Sound Torch is a portable Bluetooth speaker that adds a unique visual element to your listening experience thanks to a built-in pyro board, which fires up in different formations based on the music being played.”
But be careful K?
Manisphere 