Monday ManCave accessory- Floating Bluetooth Speaker

We live in ADHD times.

It’s been said that the average length of a song that will be listened to on spotify is 5 seconds which is nowhere near the guitar solo!

I propose that this could be a handy way to stay focused to listen to an album in it’s entirety.You simply stay focused on the ball whilst listening to your favourite album. Make sure it’s all killer and no filler tho…….

How to get the ManCave of your dreams

…or anything else you desire

The science world is abuzz these days with the theoretical probability that parallel dimensions exist. Filed under the many worlds theory (to separate it from other parallel dimension theories, woooah man), it posits that there are infinite dimensions that a copy of ourselves exists with ever so slight variations of us existing along side each other.These realities exist in but a quantum sized gap apart from each other (ie tighter than a fishs asshole) but because we are talking about spooky science, we cannot detect their existence, yet. If you are old like me or just have cool taste in movies, then you would’ve seen the Back to the Future flix where they were doing all sorts of things to mess with a time flow, in particular number 2 where Biff the bastard goes back to a certain pivotal point in time with intent to change history by a single doing that makes his timeline branch off into a slightly different direction (in his favour).

An example of the B2TF timelines. For this blog, let’s just work with linear direction

For us boring real life people, it could be that we all start as one timeline but by doing different things like deciding to turn left instead of right, that splits the timeline into different directions so the timeline that we turned left into might give us a wildly different outcome to our life than if we had turned right. The boffins say that in this theory, anything that CAN happen in our life IS happening or HAS happened in one of our alternate timelines. This means for example, that in one of your timelines you have won a gold medal at the Olympics or another one where you won a buttload of cash in the lottery. Well done you!

What does this mean for this ManCave blog? well in some other timeline you have the most delightful ManCave you could have ever dreamed of, unless you already have but still there is a better one out there.

So isn’t it a bit unfair that another you has the worlds best ManCave and you you don’t. A Google search for “Parallel dimension transcension machine” came up with very disappointing results. There seems to be nothing in the market that will suffice so I have devised an experiment to try at home that may or may not work. All you need is a (preferably) full body sized mirror and the desire to believe.

This was the first result for above mentioned machine. Looks like a bog standard audio mixer to me  but I guess if wired up properly, one could adjust the “volume” of at least 8 timelines

Of course twisting space time is a bonus

Firstly we need to set the mood so I would advise a well lit room but if you have fluros then thats better because they emit a softer light, or alternatively you could slightly turn down the intensity dial on your light switch, just don’t have the lighting too low as weird shit WILL go down. Incense is very good too and I would recommend my favourite fragrance of essence of 2 stroke fumes. Just don’t make the smell too girly as you might run into complications which I’ll get to in a bit. Next we need some music and rather than having some Peruvian pan flute music or some such gobbledegook, I would recommend something more vicious so those string theory strands start to  get a bit of a shaking, Musical Dimensions of Sleastak by O.L.D. (aka Old Lady Drivers) will do the trick.

Now

Stand next to the mirror sideways on and take a deep breath of those 2 stroke fumes. The idea is that we want to somehow slip into the parallel dimension that is beside our reality so we are going to very quickly flick our head to the side turning our gaze into the direction of the mirror and then just as quickly turn it back. Do this for a very quick succession of 5 times but make sure you don’t injure yourself, there is no point in transcending alternate realities with a bung neck.

Let Michael show you how (duckface optional)

Do you feel different?, go outside for a walk and see if reality as you knew it has changed. Are there massive steampunkish blimps flying in the air? no?, go back inside and repeat mirror routine. Now it might be that the alternate realities you slip into are so similar to your own that there is no noticeable difference in which case keep going back inside and repeating the mirror thing OR you could just continue living your life for years to come to see if there are then any significant changes to your timeline that allows for your ManCave or whatever else you desire but then how do you know that it isn’t just your own timeline and that you simply pulled your finger out of your ass and made it so of your own accord.

If you are not prepared to wait a long time to gauge whether you want to stay in that timeline then you just repeat the mirror thing until there is an immediately noticeable difference. Be careful not to flick yourself into the timeline that you were born a female and now have a shitload of shoes that you only fuckin wore once. Once you have entered a timeline that there is an awesome ManCave then you need to dispense of your other you. Simply plant him in front of the mirror and flick that bastard into the next timeline and then its up to your other you to deal with that you, not your problem anyways.

Too much spacetime contortion might make things go awry so be careful

When all is said and done, maybe the experiment worked and you are good and dandy or maybe it didn’t work and you feel like a bit of a dickhead.

Happy Travels

Nothing to do with this post but I think it’s funny

Monday ManCave accessory – Gameboy Fridge magnets

Of course you need a fridge

duh!

But here is a chance to make your fridge (be it a small un or a big un) look ALMOST as good as the inside, depending on whether you went to the shop or not.

Hell to the yes

I do like me some secret rooms behind the bookshelf

Via Imgur user BaconJacobs

2

“I built this bookcase entirely from raw materials to fit the old door opening to the coal chute room.

“This is the bookcase opening itself after clicking the hidden latch.”

“Fully opened. The bookcase is attached to a frame of the same 3/4″ poplar I made the bookcase out of. The door frame was tediously shimmed to be perfectly level with a laser before being screwed down securely to the wall stud with about 24 screws. The top frame was done the same way, but horizontally and to leave the correct spacing on top of the bookcase.”

“This is the first view when you walk in (if someone went ahead to turn the lights on, of course.)”

“Cheap vinyl highback chair that I think used to be in a salon… at least it smells like it anyways.”

“An electric lamp that looks like an oil lamp from my dad’s basement and my prized possession: a replica of the idol from Raiders of the Lost Ark.”

“This is the view from the rear left corner, you can see the room is only about 5′ x 12′. Not a lot to work with, so I went more minimal. Behind the blue piece of rigid insulation board is the original coal chute, that I can prop open and put a fan in the opening to ventilate the room. The electric fireplace can run just fake fire, or two levels of heat for space heating. It will be great in winter since it gets cold in a room with 6 sides of concrete under the front porch.”

“Here are some select items I decorated with. The wooden ship I got at an estate sale on half-off day for $17, the antlers I picked up on a hike 10 or 15 years ago and never had a use for until now.”

“This is the view from the front right corner, past the fireplace. The small desk was from my dad’s basement and is a perfect resting place for my tobacciana. The lamp was a $3 find from a garage sale, thanks Andy!”

“A cheapo metal/plastic coat rack I couldn’t pass up.”

“Detail view of the 1/4″ plywood and pine I used to make the trim more interesting, and look better since nothing is square in the entire house!”

“My small collection of tobacciana”

“My three wooden pipes, the only one I bought new was the Churchwarden from the Petersen store in Dublin as a souvenir.”

“The view from my chair. I was bursting with pride when I first sat down and it was all done.”

“The view from my chair. I was bursting with pride when I first sat down and it was all done.”

“The back of the bookcase door. This raccoon print I got in college and the wife won’t let me hang it anywhere else!”

“A close up of the deadbolt (panic room, amirite) and the door latch I modified to work with a steel cable running to the latch.”

“This is a residential door auto-closer I got for $25 from Lowes. I rigged it to auto-open instead.”

“A close up of the door latch striker plate and deadbolt plate on the top of the door frame.”

Man gets pissed up, makes a bet he can make this and follows through

Speechless…

Jono Williams never, ever gives up on an idea. So when (after several bourbon-and-Cokes), he assured some friends he’d build a glass room in the sky, he meant it. That’s how theSkysphere, a 33-foot-tall, 270-square-foot hangout space, came to stand in Williams’ hometown on his parents’ farm in New Zealand.

“I fully understand that if some people are drunk and goofing around, you say you’ll do something and you won’t,” Williams says. “But if I say I’ll do something, I really will. And I did.”

The Skysphere has 360-degree views of the surrounding property. It sits atop a steel column with a ladder in the core that leads to the living space. Williams spent about $50,000 to build the structure, mostly paying as he went along but also taking out a small loan from a bank.

Whether a drunken idea or a stroke of genius, the Skysphere is a particularly impressive feat considering Williams had no architectural experience before he started. In his current job, he designs and develops everyday products. He does not build structures.

And Williams didn’t just figure out the basic design and energy systems — he also added some intriguing, James Bond-like details to the Skysphere:

– The entire building can be controlled by a smartphone.

– A small fingerprint scanner at the front entrance is programmed to welcome guests and keep out intruders. A computer dialogue voice calls guests by name and only opens the door for those whose fingerprints it recognizes.

– A custom, in-couch beer dispenser gives guests a cold beer upon entry.

– Additional amenities include a Miracast projector, custom rounded furniture and LED mood lighting available in several shades.

Williams says Internet searches (and perhaps a little more bourbon and Coke) played a significant role in the planning and construction of the Skysphere.

“Basically, I had the concept in mind and then I had no idea how to actually build it, but what I did was I took small steps at a time.”

“People often ask if I think it was a waste of time and money. The amount of knowledge I gained, and the amount I learned about myself made it all worth it. At times I felt as though it couldn’t be done, [but] then I’d notice my survival instincts kicking in, and I believe this is what helped me pull through. After conquering the Skysphere, I feel I could do anything.”

Via AmazeFacts

Monday ManCave Accessory-Hoverboard

For when you REALLY need to move your space right out into the sticks. Having one of these (as yet not commercially available) Hoverboards will free up some options for where the cave need to be. Just install an anti Hoverboard/aircraft weapon to keep a limit on unwanted visitors and yer good to go.

Monday Mancave Accessory- Reretro

Hot on the heals of my profile on the Stern residence comes this weeks MMCA on Jays awesome service,

http://www.reretro.fi

This isn’t one Mancave accessory per se but to highlight what Jay does with vintage radios. Not only are they restored with love but Jaymeister adds a couple of modern bits and pieces like USB compatability and  to bring these wooden beauties screaming into the 21st century.

As well as that, Jayjay also can convert them into guitar amps whilst retaining the appearance of the original radio, lovely!.

As seen in the profile pics, he has quite a stack of radios either awaiting work or having been sweetened up already. Jay is always on the lookout for his next project, like the one below.

I would love to show someone one of these in anticipation of their reaction to getting a solid eardrum blasting when they thought it was just going to be a crackly old sound.

In saying that, nothing would please me more than to have a cup of tea on a rainy day whilst listening to Vera Lynn on one of these.

Choose your country, be sure to turn that dial slowly as there might be some hidden broadcasts that go all Twin Peaks on your ass

Is This The Real Life

I’m not much of a conspiracy theorist but things seemed amiss at Sternenstraße when I went to visit in Lahti, Finland.

Sternenstraße is occupied by Jay and his lovely wife Jouna and its a fully detached house on the outskirts of Lahti which is a small city north of Hellstinki. They pointed out that they chose to move away from the big smoke and up to Lahti because for the same price that they got this charming abode, they could only have afforded a dog box in ‘stinky. Upon my arrival, the vibe was very chilled and on one of the only decent days that this bloody summer in Finland has managed to pump out this year.

Jay rippin it with his band Oink Floyd

Jay got straight to business and took me down to the cellar which he had splendidly decked out as his ManCave. This Cave though, has another purpose other than manly being. Jay manages to get his claws on mega old radios and either brings them back to their former glory via modern repurposing with USB ports and so on but also he can turn them into guitar amps as well. If that isn’t a Monday ManCave Accessory scoop for next week then the Pope ain’t Catholic.

There’s some serious electronic twiddling in here

We hung out in the Cave for a while and shot the shit and I basked in it’s glory. After a while we headed up stairs for a quick tour including Jays sweet studio space which sits amongst the other rooms. Apart from bringing vintage radios back from the dead, Jay is also a voice over artist among other things and he played me some examples of his work. I nominate Jay for next movie trailer voice worldwide please.

Hella sugary drinks never sounded so manly

It was in the house that I observed a curious thing. It is a beautiful abode, don’t get me wrong but there is no hint of “man being designed out of the house” as Samuli from an earlier post pointed out. The decor was more or less original but alongside the feminine touches was a bunch of guitars lined up neatly on the walls. Sternenstraße screams man/woman harmony!

Jouna popped in and after introductions, I was invited to join them for dinner and I thought this would be a good time to crack open my casket of hard hitting questions that I request to be answered by all of my ManCave profile subjects.

The weather was stunning and so was their backyard. we sat down at their newly built garden terrace and I proceeded to start “the interview”

“So Jay” I said “Why do you think that ManCaves are…..”

“Would you like a glass of white wine?” Jouna interjected

“Well thank you, that would be grand”, after knocking that one off and having talked about whatever we were talking about, I tried to ask another question even though the first one hadn’t been addressed. “What would be your ultimate ManCave if you could……..”

“would you like another glass of wine?”

“yeah sure, why not!”

And my interview faded away as I had glass after glass of the cold and crispy and had a fantastic feed from the BBQ.

It was time for me to hit the tracks but not before heading back inside for a quick tour upstairs where Jouna had (SHOCK!!) her own (wo)ManCave! which was a thoroughly decent space in itself. Space for each occupant’s Cave as well as a spacious main part of the house and a delightful backyard, there is something to be said for moving to the country.

As Jouna was about to escort me to the bus stop, Stevie the cat and Cookie the cat came in and charmed me with their charmingness, I literally couldn’t leave without having to give Cookie a 10 minute belly rub (1 second of that with most other cats and they will scratch the shit out of your arms).

All this was too much. A harmonious house, wine after wine, BBQ dinner, uncat-like cats. I walked away from their house with starry eyes and rose tinted glasses.Maybe this was just a smokescreen, some way of stopping me from getting to the truth…

Actually they are just super cool guys

I Love You Man(cAVE)

I have been pondering what might be my ultimate ManCave once in a while and the closest one to my head movies is the one represented in the film “I love you man”. Its a chucklesome little flick that stars comedy deadweight Jason Segel and the always good value Paul Rudd.

It’s a bromance comedy and Pauls lonely character chums up with Jasons carefree stoner  and they discover a mutual love of seminal prog band Rush. Segal invites Rudd back to his hangout in the garage and I gotta say, it’s glorious.

It’s got a rough and ready look to it, not with rubbish and other shit strewn about the floor but not so meticulous that you feel intimidated to even go in.

Like this one..

They hang out and jam on Rush toons and all is good apart from Segal explaning why he has a tub of lube next to his armchair and proceeds to go on a slightly creepy rant about why he shouldn’t talk about burping the worm and how society is so hung up about discussing it freely. Do it, and by all means enjoy but keep it to yourself, fuckin gross dude.

Quit yackin about the cucumber smackin and jam!!

The ManCave has all the essentials I would need to be happy in it’s existence. Drums, guitars and amps and plenty of sofa action. And it looks like it wouldn’t kick you bank accounts ass either. Preach.